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I was just curious at first what this app offers to the community. Not to mention that this is my first dating app, I decided to keep it as I am eager not to miss any chance of meeting pretty nice people for friendship, dating, or a relationship. The app allows you to chat with ladies whom you got a ‘match’, meaning you mutually like each other. The questions leading to your lifestyle, dating, and fun preferences are pretty cool as well.

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The bisexual community has an inside joke that describes what it’s like to date as a bi person: People think it means double the options or double the fun, but it really just means double the rejection. Self-deprecating jokes like this one are at the core of the Single People Club regardless of sexuality, but bisexual people do face extra roadblocks in the dating world. True: Online dating sucks for everyone. Horny jerks disguise themselves as relationship seekers, your DMs are constantly filled with bad pickup lines and overly-persistent creeps, and many times, the site’s algorithm ignores the filters that you’ve set.

But the fact that there are no dating sites that cater specifically to bi people means that they’re frequently swiping on people who don’t take bisexuality seriously. The unique dating challenges that bi people face boil down to one rigid concept: being too gay for some and too straight for others.

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However, the queer umbrella comes with a lot more identities and their complexities. Their inclusion in spaces matter since inclusivity serves for integration and over time, normalisation of those that are different from the rest. When I made a proper profile on one of the most popular dating websites in India, I decided to mention that I was bisexual.

Over the next few days, I was flooded with messages and all from men. Most men I spoke to would eventually turn to questions on threesomes. I decided to mention in my profile description that as far as men were concerned, I would prefer those other than cis-het ones. I reckoned that changing my preference for dating non-cisgender or non-straight male persons would mean at least they knew where I was coming from. Or so I thought. Many straight up asked me why a gay man date a woman, which was further confirmation of seeing bisexuality as a fetish would.

Online dating has thus been difficult terrain for me. I had signed up for this particular dating site precisely because a friend of mine who was gay recommended it. However, I came to realise that, at least at that time, beyond providing the option for my identity, the search and match parameters did not exactly go in my favour. The gender non-binary population was not even addressed. My partner, a white, demisexual-bisexual, nonbinary person pointed out that- they once noticed that user population in certain queer dating apps were also skewed towards white, gay men, and subtle racism was rampant.

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Indian society has a paradoxical relationship with sex. On the one hand, you have the enchanting legacy of erotic art and the Kamasutra. After five years of looking for relationships on dating apps, she began using them only for hook-ups a year ago. Yet, Cherry, like many sexually liberated women on dating apps, is reluctant to engage confidently with the very hook-up culture these apps are supposed to enable. Otherwise guys get cocky.

Nonetheless, most popular matchmaking apps are designed based on the context that cis-het white people tend to occupy, which is removed from Indian settings and their idiosyncrasies. And while there is not much data available on the subject, women in India have reported t hat they were sexually assaulted or had their consent violated on Tinder dates.

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